Getting in tune with Gaspard
(Filed: 10/03/2001)
Vanessa-Mae talks to Judith Woods about her over-sexed and undisciplined shar-pei
ON a sunny afternoon in Kensington, Vanessa-Mae is demonstrating the obedience skills of her puppy. Gaspard, a black shar-pei, is straining and rasping on the end of a fashionable camouflage lead.
Puppy love: a moment of peace before Gaspard spots the next subject of his affections
"He understands 'sit' and 'come' and 'wait' and 'stay'," the virtuoso violinist says, gaily, as Gaspard cocks his leg against the photographer's bag. "He's a very independent breed, but I wanted a majestic dog that was very male and strong and not yappy."
According to recent reports, Gaspard's maleness is beyond dispute. Indeed, the pedigree pooch has been demonstrating a sex drive well beyond his tender eight months, and stands accused of causing havoc in puppy class by attempting to mount almost anything that moves.
Other owners are apparently piqued by the fact that classes have been disrupted, and one expressed a secret desire to thump the creature. Vanessa-Mae, 22, insists they are merely jealous of her loveable pup, but has confessed to walloping him herself with a mobile phone, in a bid to dampen his ardour.
"He was just getting a bit too much, so I thwacked him on the nose," she says, her voice tinged with parental guilt. "He'd been trying to shag somebody, and I really don't think it upset him."
Judging by today's headstrong performance, and the carpet-thick folds of flesh on his head, it's hard to imagine Gaspard being unduly troubled by Vanessa-Mae's attempts at discipline. He currently weighs a solid 52lb, and is more than a match for his whippet-thin mistress, a fact amply demonstrated when he takes her for a walk.
As he surges forward, her body leans backwards at an improbable 45-degree angle, as ribbons of white slobber fly through the air. The impression is that she is waterskiing across Holland Park.
"Stop it, Gaspard!" she cries, pointlessly, as he launches himself amorously at a blue-eyed (and male) husky called Snowy.
"I think I'm quite strict, but my trainer says I'm too soft," Vanessa-Mae says, gazing at him with undisguised love. "I think he's gorgeous: he looks just like a hippopotamus."
For any other dog, this might be regarded as an insult. But frankly, with his bulbous elephant seal nose, rheumy eyes and wrinkly jowls, Gaspard looks so odd that any comparison with a recognisable animal seems welcome.
He is a replacement for Vanessa-Mae's original fawn-coloured shar-pei called Gaspar, who died last year after being hit by a bicycle. The accident happened during the recording of her new album, Subject to Change.
"It was terrible when he died because I would bring him along to the studio every day. There's a track on the album which has quite a sombre feel," she says. "Now I take Gaspard along, but he can't come into the recording booth with me because he snores too loudly."
Although he's not allowed on the furniture, Gaspard clearly enjoys a life of privilege. He has his teeth brushed daily with tea tree oil toothpaste, his doggy treats are fresh salmon and tuna, and he can access all areas backstage.
He has been microchipped and will soon be issued with a pet passport so that he can travel through Europe with Vanessa-Mae when she begins her tour next month. At home, he is walked three times a day, a considerable investment of time and energy.
International recording artists, however, can draw on rather more resources than the average dog owner. The task of yomping through the park with Gaspard usually falls to Sarah, Vanessa-Mae's PA. "He's a lovely, playful animal," Sarah murmurs, as she stoically mops Gaspard's dribbly chin and weepy eyes with a handkerchief. In her hand she carries a blue rubber chew ring, and in her bag, presumably, a supply of plastic bags for dog mess.
"I don't mind clearing up after Gaspard," chimes Vanessa-Mae with the dreamy air of someone contemplating a marvellous treat. "It's terribly important to clean up dog mess. I hate it when people don't bother."
For now, Gaspard is preoccupied with a bodily function of a rather different nature. As he pants with lust, a horrified Norfolk terrier breaks the canine speed record as it scuttles into the distance.
No time to talk: Gaspard enjoys taking Vanessa-Mae for a walk
"Sit!" commands Vanessa-Mae in the sort of feeble tone that would have Barbara Woodhouse spinning in her grave. Gaspard pays no attention, possibly because he has a creeping erection.
"Some guys get horny, some dogs get horny. Gaspard is just highly sexed," says Vanessa-Mae, unfazed by her pet's liberal interpretations of park etiquette.
"He doesn't try and hump my girlfriends any more, because my trainer said it might be to do with their perfume, and they now try to avoid wearing any when he's around."
According to the renowned dog guru Roger Mugford, Vanessa-Mae's friends need not forgo fragrances for ever, as Gaspard will almost certainly grow out of his libidinous phase.
"It's pretty much what young boys go through pre-puberty, and his sexual behaviour is bound up with his development," he says. "Because shar-peis were bred as ceremonial fighting dogs, some of the males are prone to be aggressive towards other dogs."
Mugford, who runs training classes in Surrey, advises owners to throw a tin can containing stones on to the ground near a misbehaving dog to distract the animal. "I certainly wouldn't recommend thwacking him with a mobile phone. Squirting him with a water pistol would be preferable."
Vanessa-Mae is toying with the idea of having one-to-one training sessions for Gaspard. She is hopeful that once away from other dogs and people, his hormones might calm down. "It's important to get him properly trained as soon as I can," she says, as she is pulled past.
And with that, Gaspard heads for the gate, Vanessa-Mae waterskiing behind him.
13 September 2000: 'Nobody can influence me'
20 January 2000: [UK News] Vanessa-Mae cuts her mother's apron strings
16 January 1997: [UK News] Vanessa Mae, but her Slovakian orchestra may not
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/portal....g.jhtml
:laugh:
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